Do you know why sex is so amazing? Sex is so amazing because God created it! Sex is an amazing thing that God wants us to have plenty of and he wants us to enjoy it to the fullest!

… but he wants you to enjoy it the way that he intends, within marriage.

So how do you deal with the temptation of sex before you get married? Let me give you some tips that I personally used to finally be able to withstand the temptation of premarital sex:

  1. Learn the truth about sex

    • Sex is not bad. Sex is not evil. Sex is not something Satan created.

    • God created sex.

    • God wants you to have sex… but within marriage.

    • Sex is not something you cannot do. Sex is something you GET TO DO.

    • You get to experience God’s way in God’s time.

    • Sex is not just an act of pleasure. Sex is a way to SEAL the deal; its a covenant.

    • Sex connects you to other people. You should connect to one person. The saying “soul ties” is real. Be careful who you connect yourself to and who you let inside of your temple.

    • Sex is a sin against your own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

    • The pleasure of premarital sex is temporary; it’s over quickly. The pleasure of marital sex is infinite and covered by God.

    • TIP: ask yourself this question - is a quick “fix/climax/peak worth the consequences of not being obedient to God? Is it worth losing your peace and the feeling brokenness? Literally, every time I felt like I was about to masturbate, watch porn, or have sex, I asked myself this question and determined it was not worth the after effects and consequences of being outside of God’s will”

  2. Arm yourself/ Stay Covered

    • Set alarms on your phone with Bible Verses or Prayers. Make them for random times. For an example: Set an alarm for 7:30pm that says “1 Corinthians 10:13.” Or, even make it personal. Put your name in it. example: “Catheryne, God will always provide you with a way out of temptation.” It is important to have God’s word and promises all around you to fight against temptation.

    • Set alarms when you suspect that you may be tempted. If you have a date planned for 7pm, set an alarm reminding yourself to stay strong and to seek God or maybe, to go home instead of that persons house.

    • Listen to sermons that directly speak into the situations and circumstances in which you are facing. Is it lust outside of your marriage? Infidelity? Masturbation? Sex with randoms? sex with your boyfriend? Shacking up? Etc. Submerge yourself in God’s word and God’s wisdom.

    • When you feel tempted, open up your Bible. When you feel tempted, get onto your knees and pray. When you feel tempted, call an accountability partner or someone that you know that can speak life into your situation in that moment.

    • Pray! Pray for covering before you even leave the house. Pray even before you are tempted or suspect that you may be tempted. Ask God to help you to die to your flesh and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Ask God to remove the urge from you until its your time. Ask God to strengthen you.

    • Be careful of what you put into your mind. It is important that you guard yourself against things that feed your fleshly desires. You may not want to listen to songs filled sex. You may not want to watch movies/ shows filled with sex. these things seep into your mind and everything thats goes into your mind, must come out.

  3. Avoid Tempting Situations

    • If you know that the guy you are dating is tempting to you, then do not date him anywhere alone, quiet, or where there is opportunity to give into temptation.

    • Avoid going to the homes of the opposite sex, especially late at night. You should be able to date publicly and find affordable/free things to do in public.

    • If you know you like to watch porn and masturbate at night, then at night, go hide your phone/computer/etc. or put your phone/computer/etc. far away from yourself. If you have a certain time you watch porn, take it a step further by asking a friend that you trust to call you around that time to speak love and light into you.

    • If alcohol arouses you or cause you to be promiscuous, then its time to put the alcohol away sis.

    • Never assume that you can control yourself; more often than not, the situation will end the same way it did many times before. Avoid the same patterns altogether.

  4. Conviction > Guilt

  • If Satan can keep you feeling guilty; he can get you to do it again.

  • If Satan can keep you feeling guilty; he can get you to do it again.

  • If Satan can keep you feeling guilty; he can get you to do it again.

  • Yes, I had to list that three times. Why? Because feeling guilty after each time you give into temptation will only lead you back to that. My feeling guilty after each time that I had sex prior to being married is literally the one factor that kept me going back for more sex.

  • God will convict your heart. He wants you to make better choices but he does not want you to feel guilty or like you cannot come to him. God responds in love and he provides you with what you need to break away from sexual temptation. However, if the devil can keep you guilty, he can influence a wedge between you and God as he pushes you closer to sin.

Queens, I know that I am married now, but I remember the struggle all too well and I have struggled with sexual temptation since high school. Please understand that I am not speaking from a place of not being able to understand or relate. I also know that it is not easy to turn away from sexual temptation. I know that sex feels good and I know how it feels to fall into temptation repeatedly. I know how hard is is to abstain from having sex with someone you like/love, but take it from someone who has been on both sides, sex is so much better God’s way. Trust God’s way and keep your eyes on Him.

When you have sex out of God’s will, you begin to create issues in a marriage that has not even formed yet. If you cannot control yourself prior to getting married, you will have issues controlling yourself during marriage. If you cannot resolve your sex-related issues prior to getting married, you will have sex-related issues within your marriage. This does not mean that you cannot over come these issues; it simply means that you will have to face these issue head on within your marriage. My husband and I had several issues with the way we perceived sex before we got married. There are still times where we find ourselves battling with some of those issues when we have sex. We are still working through sexual issues that we had prior to getting married.

I guarantee that if you intentionally protect yourself against sexual temptation while praying for God to change you on the inside, sexual temptation will no longer control you. Learn the truth about what God says about sex, cover yourself in His Word, surround yourself with wisdom and reminders, get you an accountability partner, be intentional on refraining from sticky situations, and don’t allow satan to influence you to live in guilt. When you do fall, get up and run toward God and never away from his embrace. He is not ashamed of you, so you don’t have to be ashamed of you. His son’s blood covered all that.

We are rooting for you.

Please email us if you need to go deeper, if you need an accountability partner, if you need prayer, if you need to vent, etc.

We love you,
but God Loves you Best!

Queen Catheryne

Your Biblical Bestie